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So....

I get that for whatever reason you're not super into us being buddies or whatever, I haven't missed your social cues and radio silence and I don't understand it, but fine, sure, everybody here apparently hates me or some shit. Why would you be any different?

But I gotta ask. Cuz...ya know, I'm a curious guy, I'm living in other-me's house, lotta stuff lying around. Lotta trinkets and mementos.

Lotta pictures.

Real interesting pictures, buddy boy.

Got a couple questions.

[he immediately doesn't like where this is going]

Uh, okay. I mean, I don't know what kind of stuff you-- well, uh, "you" saved, but...

...What-- What kind of questions?

All kinds of crap, I'm a sentimental guy. That shaved Tassiter??? I dunno, but I have his mustache in a cabinet. And that's the most normal thing in there.

But...never mind that right now, cuz really I just have one big question. And I figure you're the guy who can fill me in.

So, Tim. Other me. The man who would be Jack.

What the ever loving fuck happens to my face?

...Right.

That.

[He kind of figured this was going to come up, sooner or later.]

Okay, that's... that's a whole thing. [A thing he'd rather not think about himself, but. Well. He'd want to know too, if things were flipped around, and... fine. Okay. He can do this.] Maybe a, uh... in-person sort of talk, I guess. This is gonna feel weird over the Gear.

Yeah.

That.

Yes, thank you, I'd kind of really like to actually see you and talk to you! It...this has been really hard for me! Everything's all weird and so many people know me but I don't know them and my friggin roommate even got some weird anonymous note talking about how somebody outta warn him about me! And then I find...all this crap from a life I haven't even lived! And for some fucking reason, in the future, my face is stapled on!

Where even are you?

Yeah, no, that part's... weird, I know. Don't look at me, mine's, uh... kind of stuck, it's-- it's a whole thing--

[Nope, okay, one thing at a time.]

And, uh, Ecruteak, generally.

Your what is stuck?

Oh, shit, that's like just a city over, isn't it? I'm in Goldenrod.

My, uh. Mask. Like future you wears. But we'll... talk about that.

Figured as much, yeah. I can, uh, go over there no problem. I did a lot of going back and forth, in the past, so.

Your. Mask.

Were we in some terrible shuttle accident? DID BANDITS EAT OUR FACES? What the fuck?

Do you know the Chimchar Roast Cafe? I can meet ya there, it's close to my place.

No! Not-- oh god, is what actually happened better or worse than that? You know, terrible shuttle accident might've been better. Uh.

...Yeah. I know the place. Just. Head there and I'll be over, yeah?

Edited 2021-03-08 19:35 (UTC)

What the fuck.

[It's about all Jack can manage before hanging up and grabbing his trademark leather jacket to head over to the cafe. He brings the two dogs that always wanna go with him, the Houndoom that looks like it lives on steroids and the shaggy Mightyena, but Beefo the Wimpod is on his shoulder.]

[He grabs a table outside to wait for Tim, figuring they probably wanna do this outside where getting loud and maybe making a scene won't be as big a deal. And it's getting warm enough for that, it's fine. What the hell is going on? What happened - or happens - to them to apparently fuck up both of their faces so bad they need replacements?]

[And that's just one thing. He's not an idiot, he's a friggin genius. He can tell people are hiding shit from him. Maybe he'll finally get some answers once his doppelganger shows up.]

[Tim doesn't leave right away. First he has some time where he tries talking himself out of this. And then back into it. And out of it. And back in again. It's a thing for a few minutes, before he finally just, makes his way to Goldenrod.

It's a familiar enough trip. He's got his Persian with him, for moral support. None of the Espurr are coming with, of course. He just gives some of the many, many cats a pet and off he goes.

And it's... weird, walking over, and seeing Jack again, as he was. Not as he is later. It's immediately bringing back memories. Unpleasant ones, but, well. Thaaaat's Jack for you.

He just steps on over.]

Uh. Okay. So... thiiiis is weird, but. Hey.

[Oh what the giant flying fuck?]

[Jack just stares at Tim, taking the other man in. It's...almost the face from the pictures littered around the ultra modern mansion that is apparently his. But messed up. Otherwise...same hair, same aging lit professor streak of white, same...giant staples holding the whole mess together.]

Yeah, I know it's weird. My whole life has been nothing but weird since I woke up here. Sit down.

Yeeep, okay.

[He kind of moves automatically, just, used to immediately doing whatever Jack says. Which he doesn't need to do. Self affirmation. Just... old habits.]

So, uh. Okay.

This... sort of kicked off on Elpis. When we found the Vault there. Getting there was a whole thing, but that's... the main relevant part right now.

That's...that's what we were doing right before I got here. Trying to save Elpis from those asshats trying to blow it up.

[Oh, this is an uncomfortable bit of knowledge already. Jack assumed whatever happens, it happens in the future. Like years in the future. Not apparently during the course of what he'd just been doing.]

[Awesome.]

We were on Helios, all of us. Me, you, Nisha, Athena, Wilhelm... [The others.] That's the last thing I remember.

Right, yeah. We went up there several times during all that.

[...God, he misses Athena.]

So. The Vault. We... Y-You know, Athena, Nisha, the group of us, we went down there, made our way through. Killed the, uh... really big and scary Vault Guardian in there. Really not sure how we survived that one, that's just... whoof.

But there was this artifact. You, um... You got there and started messing with that. Looked sort of like... [And he traces the vault symbol in the air.] That kinda symbol.

Oh I don't think I like where this is going.

[Jack blanches, his mind taking that information and building on it. Messing with weird Eridian artifacts is never a good idea. What was wrong with him? Of course...yeah, he does know what's said to be in that Vault. Something of incredible power. He can see himself getting excited and maybe not being as safe as he ought to be.]

[When faced with discovery and fame unlike anything dreamed of, okay, sure, common sense can take a back seat.]

So...I'll cut ya off here, cuz I can guess why you're not wanting to give me the whole story...you're saying I did this to myself. I fucked with something I shouldn't have been fucking with unless I had a ton of safety tech, and I got bit. Okay, I can deal with that....

But what the hell happened to you? Cuz I saw me and Nisha's wedding pics, she looked fine.

[...Well, he's not entirely wrong in it being because he fucked up. Tim's real tempted to just leave it at that.]

Yeah, no, uh. Everyone else was fine. What happened to me wasn't the Vault.

What happened was you, actually.

So...I melt off my own face with a weird Vault artifact and get a new face or whatever, okay. That...is not at all any of the scenarios I was imagining, but okay. That's at least a cool story.

[He can work with that, some badass alien thingy messing him up. That's the sort of thing that happens to cool hero adventure types.]

[That last bit, though....]

What do you mean I was what happened to you? Oh...wait, do you just wear the mask cuz I wear the mask in the future? That makes sense.

Yeah, no, that'd make sense. Contract and all, I mean, that's kind of what I expected.

[This is the part where he's definitely sounding bitter.]

No, uh. No. When everything in the Vault... happened... Well, your face was kind of on fire for a bit there. And it left a scar in the same shape as that artifact.

After all that, you gave me the same one.

I what now?

[The mask he gets. The mask makes sense. Tim's his double, they have to look the same. Perfectly logical, sound move that. It'd be stupid to have visible differences, defeats the whole point.]

[Scarring the dude's face? That seems a little excessive. If he goes around with a mask of his own face on, obviously no one's seeing his actual face. And by that logic, no one was seeing Tim's either. Well, he guesses if he wanted to be extra super careful and sure....]

Uh. Sorry about that, I guess. So...could I see it? Ya know, under the mask.

Twice, actually. You, uh. You did that twice. Once over here, when I was here my first time and it was... you, from later. And then again, on Helios, when I was over there and didn't remember my time here. Physical stuff doesn't really transfer from here to home.

[Double the trauma!]

...Anyway, uh, no. I mean, not-- I don't care about you seeing it? It's just, it's kind of all stuck. The hinges got all messed up at some point.

...Okay twice is officially too much. I mean I can understand why I did it back home - I mean I probably didn't have to, I wouldn't do that to you now, but...I get why. Here? What the hell does it matter here?

[A pause.]

I mean I did kind of get a death threat recently, but...I don't think it was serious? And it's not like you're my body double here. Right? That's...that's not what you do here, is it?

[That's really sad, if it is. As far as Jack can tell, he isn't even a noteworthy Pokemon Trainer around here. He had a paper supply company or some shit. And that isn't even touching Tim's mask.]

....Okay, so...there's like blacksmiths around, right? People who work with metal? Or doctors? Holy shit, Tim, how long has that stupid thing been stuck on you? What is wrong with you? You're supposed to be the other me, we're smarter than that!

Oh, god, no. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, uh... you know, Hyperion contracts don't really transfer between dimensions? Didn't... really stop, uh, the other you, but. I never really did any actual body double work here.

I dunno how much of it was because of that. I think mostly you just had issues and you decided to work them out that way.

[On his face.

Healthy!]

I-I mean, uh. Well, before this, I was kind of stuck on a space station next to a black hole and there wasn't really anything to be done, and--

I've mostly been kind of worried about someone fucking it up worse, I guess!

So do I do some bad mushrooms and just...never come back from it? Cuz I gotta say, I'm having a hard time making some connections between me and the me I apparently am in the future. I have a cabinet full of body parts, Tim. I'm a lotta things, but collecting body parts guy isn't one of them.

[What the hell happens to him? Actually...no, he doesn't really wanna know right now.]

Don't actually answer that, I got enough to process as it is. But for fuck's sake, buddy, you...you gotta get that thing off. Look, the clasps look like pretty thick metal sections, this world's far enough along the tech curve that they've got lasers and shit, I don't think it's gonna cause damage to just cut through'em. Go see a doctor, get the stupid thing off, your face'll thank you.

[And also, Jack doesn't want to see it. It's dumb and creepy. Maybe if it weren't all messed up, but it's like looking at himself if he was getting the bad end in a horror game.]

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secondhandsome - 2021-04-15 01:01 (UTC) - Expand

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