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[secondhandsome]

Hey there, you've reached... um... me. Yeah. Leave a message!

Well, that sounded smoother in my head... Damn it.

Comments

[almosthandsome]

...Okay twice is officially too much. I mean I can understand why I did it back home - I mean I probably didn't have to, I wouldn't do that to you now, but...I get why. Here? What the hell does it matter here?

[A pause.]

I mean I did kind of get a death threat recently, but...I don't think it was serious? And it's not like you're my body double here. Right? That's...that's not what you do here, is it?

[That's really sad, if it is. As far as Jack can tell, he isn't even a noteworthy Pokemon Trainer around here. He had a paper supply company or some shit. And that isn't even touching Tim's mask.]

....Okay, so...there's like blacksmiths around, right? People who work with metal? Or doctors? Holy shit, Tim, how long has that stupid thing been stuck on you? What is wrong with you? You're supposed to be the other me, we're smarter than that!

[secondhandsome]

Oh, god, no. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, uh... you know, Hyperion contracts don't really transfer between dimensions? Didn't... really stop, uh, the other you, but. I never really did any actual body double work here.

I dunno how much of it was because of that. I think mostly you just had issues and you decided to work them out that way.

[On his face.

Healthy!]

I-I mean, uh. Well, before this, I was kind of stuck on a space station next to a black hole and there wasn't really anything to be done, and--

I've mostly been kind of worried about someone fucking it up worse, I guess!

[almosthandsome]

So do I do some bad mushrooms and just...never come back from it? Cuz I gotta say, I'm having a hard time making some connections between me and the me I apparently am in the future. I have a cabinet full of body parts, Tim. I'm a lotta things, but collecting body parts guy isn't one of them.

[What the hell happens to him? Actually...no, he doesn't really wanna know right now.]

Don't actually answer that, I got enough to process as it is. But for fuck's sake, buddy, you...you gotta get that thing off. Look, the clasps look like pretty thick metal sections, this world's far enough along the tech curve that they've got lasers and shit, I don't think it's gonna cause damage to just cut through'em. Go see a doctor, get the stupid thing off, your face'll thank you.

[And also, Jack doesn't want to see it. It's dumb and creepy. Maybe if it weren't all messed up, but it's like looking at himself if he was getting the bad end in a horror game.]

[secondhandsome]

Body part cabinet is a lot to process for both of us. I mean... ugh...

[Thaaaaat's a lot.]

I mean, I... yeah. Yeah, probably! I mean, more than probably, you're right. [Oh that feels wrong to say.] I don't exactly like it being on, it's, uh, pretty awful? I've just been... preeeetty paranoid about it.