secondhandsome | ic inbox

Yeah, I thought I knew that too.

[...He's not sure why he sends the message. He hadn't even intended to, really. It's something he typed and wanted to delete immediately, but... nope, there it is.

Damn it. Probably the freaking painkillers messing him up.]

Sorry, I'm really not trying to be evasive or... anything like that. i don't really know what I'm trying to be like.

Sorry.

[God, what is he even writing... Talking to her should be so simple. But he just feels like a mess.]

There's always another layer to discover, isn't there?

Stop apologizing, you're obviously in some manner of distress. You're managing to ramble in text. That's an impressive state.

I suppose this means our little get-togethers need a new location.

It's a talent I guess.

[Oh god. A part of him is happy she still wants to meet up even now that he's in a different place, but it's quickly drowned out by panic as he thinks about her seeing him like this.

It already took a lot to let Athena see him like this, but Lust...]

Right. Yeah.

It might be a while before I can again though. I mean I'm with a group here and things are kinda complicated so I dunno what things are gonna be like

[...So Tim just sort of gave up on grammar there. And, you know, coherency? He barely even understands what he was trying to say there and he's the one who wrote it.]

Okay I see what you mean with the rambling.

[Well, this isn't a good sign. Some mysterious unpleasant thing has happened, and he's drawing away and for some reason doesn't want her and the people he's with to meet.]

I see.

You know that I'm...your friend. You can talk to me.

[There's... a delay before Tim replies to that. God, he's so conflicted. Part of him wants to talk about it with someone, with a friend, someone he feels so comfortable with usually. But as soon as he starts to consider it he begins feeling ill.

And then another part of him just thinks about how he fucked up his friendship with Athena and that's not a helpful thought at all, but it's there. What if he fucks this up somehow too?]

Yeah.

I know.

[And another pause. It might seem like that's it, but...]

This is kinda hard to talk about.

It's alright. I won't push you to. But I...

[Oh hell, words. Why are ideas so difficult to properly constrain with them sometimes?]

Care about the state of your health and happiness. And I doubt there's anything you could tell me that would shock or horrify me.

[He hasn't really... talked about this. With Athena, well... He didn't exactly need to, did he? She only had to look at him to know exactly what the situation was.

He hasn't needed to put it into words. And maybe it'd be easier to just show her. It'd save time. But... he really doesn't think he can.

Not that talking about it is really easier, but he can at least... try?]

How much have you seen of Jack? What he looks like?

Not much. I don't pay attention to him, men like that bore and irritate me. I've seen him, though. I can tell the difference between him and you.

[Mouthy Jack is older and harder, and has that odd mask. And he speaks differently.]

So you've probably seen his mask, right?

I mean, it's kinda hard to miss.

I have.

[Lust is starting to get a particularly uncomfortable feeling in the pit of her stomach. This is...a very specific and unexpected lead-up. With rather ghoulish implications.]

Yeah, he didn't always wear that. He didn't when I met him. But back on Elpis, there was an... incident. The whole thing's kind of a long story, honestly. But the main thing is that one of his [He almost typed "our" there... Ugh.] enemies showed up and kinda... punched this artifact into his face.

It was pretty brutal. Left one hell of a mark. He wears the mask to cover that up.

It's, I don't know, some alien bullshit and he couldn't remove it. And considering how much surgery can do, that's kinda saying something.

[Hell, just look at him.]

[That nervous, anxious feeling only intensifies as Lust reads. She can think of a few ways this little tale can end, none of them good.]

I see.

And I think I can see why you're reluctant to discuss what's happened. You really don't need to go on right now, if it's too difficult. Not for my sake.

[...]

You know, it's really stupid... I've spent a lot of time worrying about Jack. I mean, the shit I've seen him do to people for the stupidest reasons...

But there were always reasons. It's this fucked up with me or against me mentality, but I figured I could work with that.

[Maybe it's easier talking about this if he's not... talking directly about what happened.]

Turns out it didn't really matter. Kinda makes me feel like an idiot.

You aren't an idiot. You made the safest bet. But even the safest bet with a madman is still a bet with a madman.

That isn't your fault.

I don't know if it was the safest bet. It just looked that way because I panicked, I think. He called me a traitor and all I could think about was how to make him change his mind on that.

I mean, I kinda should've figured. It's never really been great to be on his good side.

It was at the time, to you. You can't second guess yourself now, that leads to nothing but a spiral of misery and undeserved guilt.

You can only move forward. You still aren't alone.

Well geez, second guessing myself is like my special skill, don't take that away from me.

But... yeah. I guess you're right.

[...It's probably still the painkillers and the weirdness of everything that's messing him up, makes him type without thinking about it.]

I'm in Ecruteak again, by the way. For now, anyway.

You have MUCH better skills than that.

When do you think you'll be up to some company? I'd...like to see you.

Nah, this is definitely the one I'm best at. Trust me. I'm a champion of self doubt.

[Geez, that actually gets him to... smile just slightly. For like the first time since... well.]

I don't know. I mean if we wait until I'm really up for anything again it's gonna take a while. So... I dunno, maybe just... whenever?

Oh, I'm sure I could give you a run for your money.

I'll give you a few days. I imagine you're in a state where need a good deal of rest.

Wow, is that a challenge, because that sounds like a challenge.

Sorta, yeah. Well. Mostly that's the meds I'm taking I think.

Honestly, after all the post-surgery medication I've had to take, I'm surprised anything is even still working on me. I mean, y'know, it's a good surprise, but still.

[Seriously, his body's like a pharmacy at this point, geez.]

Likely the saddest challenge ever. What a pair we are.

Bodies can be surprising things. Are you in a great deal of pain?

At least you can't say we're not succeeding at something, right?

Nothing I can't handle.

[That's not a "no".]

I can also eat an entire chocolate cake in a sitting and sing Pokemon to sleep, I succeed at a multitude of things.

Oh, I use that one, too. Of course I can 'handle' being speared through in several places for days at a time, so it tends to be misleading.

Well dang, I think that means you're winning. I think.

[Or does it mean she... loses, because she can do more-- Okay, let's not think about that too much.]

...Maybe my baseline for pain is saner?

[I mean it's not like he's used to constant injuries from being shot at all the time or anything, ha ha ha.]

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